9-2-5

Long weekend is over - Monday was a holiday for Natal Day (what exactly that is I'm not sure. I suspect a created civic holiday to give us all an extra day in the summer to sleep in and go outside a bit) and I took Friday as a vacation day so manged 4 days in a row away from work - which doesn't happen too often for me. my life as an aspiring filmmaker is supplemented by my 9-5 job, monday to friday every week, all year long...as you can tell i do NOT like routine. for the first 10 yrs of my working life I was a freelancer and moved from film set to film set, location to location, all around the country, working with different people all the time, mostly outdoors, with long hours yes, but lots and lots of variety. i also made sweet money. these days i have a "secure job" which really means a set schedule, the same people, the same suite, the same shows and actually less pay. and honestly - after 5 years of it - i'm ready to jump through the window - or at least i would if i HAD a window.
anyway, all this has been leading me to think about the pro's and con's of the freelance life vs the full-time existence. let's start with freelance.

pro - variety and constant stimulation.
con- lots of anxious nights-before and early mornings where you have no idea what's in store for you when you show up on site.

pro- very high wages. lots of overtime. cash in the bank
con - you have to work a lot to maintain that salary, to keep the money in the bank. it's really hard to get credit. when things slow down so does the work.

pro- you can pick up and leave at any time. move somewhere else and if you're good at what you do - quickly find similar work in another city.
con - well there's no downside to that!

okay - now let's look at the steady job, the 9-5, 40 hrs a week. full time employee.

pro- i have my own studio, my own workstation, i can close my door and not talk to anyone all day.
con - some days i close my door and don't mange to talk to anyone all day.

pro - i have a steady reliable pay cheque, twice a month
con- i get paid much less than i did as a freelancer

pro - since becoming full time folk, i have been granted credit cards, lines of credit, and bank loans
con - i am now in debt where i never was before AND i make less money

pro - i only work 8hrs a day, as opposed to the usual 15hrs a day i worked on set
con - i have to get up at the same time every morning and work until the same time every evening.

So, it seems that i am weighing in on the side of freelancing at this point. except i failed to mention how exhausting location work is, how much of your life it eats up (sometimes 70hrs a week) and though there is lots of money in the bank, there is no real time to enjoy it, so you don't always spend it wisely. But nowadays i sit at a desk all the time - which is bad for mind and body, and then i used to be on my feet, moving around, experiencing all the seasons, weather, and many different environments - forest, downtown big city, mountain ranges, interiors of mansions and stadiums, remote islands and nation capitals.

of course back then i was working as crew, now I am working in post production, which allows me a lot more respect and a lot more creative freedom. but the bottom line is - the reason i was not satisfied back then (even with the big money, freedom and variety) and am not satisfied now (even with the medical plan, vacation time and seniority) is that neither of these jobs are what i WANT to be feeding all my time and energy into.
so - the old adage is true - if you love it, it is NOT work. what i do feed want to feed my time and energy into (and at this point i feed a lot into it - it's just not literally -financially - feeding me back yet!) is writing and directing - these pursuits are exhausting, painful, heart breaking, exhilarating, frustrating just to name a few - but for me - NOT work. it is my ambition, my passion, which is a very different thing.
now if i could only figure out a way to make real money from it. :)

okay, back to the studio for now..

back already
summer has finally kicked in here on the east coast of Canada - the weather, like everywhere, is whack. there seems little doubt the bizarre climate changes we've seen in the past ten years are a direct reflection of the slow-but-getting-faster degradation of our environment. despite all the talk we do amongst ourselves and in the media, it still seems people really don't care, or perhaps just don't take it seriously. they still drive the three blocks to the supermarket, still dump chemicals down the drain, still consume like it will never run out and still support corporations and manufactures that exploit not only the earth but also the folks who live there. i saw LOTS of Nike wearing celebrities at Live Earth. and lot of plastic water bottles. and there's been lots of posts about the jets they flew in on, the power consumed by the stadiums and overall air of decadence and invulnerability that any huge celebrity gathering seems to generate.
if the best way to lead is by example - then what the hell was Live Earth setting as an example? perhaps a few small concerts in the park, or many many small outdoor concerts, set up and run on a more grass roots level would have sent a stronger message. if the need is to cut down on excess and to lean towards sustainability - then why not promote the idea with similar tactics? maybe we need to BE what we say we are. ACT what we believe.

Intro

so this is it - a blog at last. kinda wanna get warmed up on this thing before i go too crazy - but lets just say i need a space to clear the air, get things out in the open that i might otherwise keep under wraps or just politely refuse to comment on in this otherwise overly correct society. i used to get all this out on my radio show, but time does no allow such a cathartic, emotional expression of opinion any more. I also want this to be a place where I can let other people know about exceptional people I've met, talented artists i've come across and interesting ideas that may have presented themselves throughout daily life. life, work, art, love and social meanderings - hopefully adding something of value to that great cyber conversation we're all having.
that's it for now. here's to the next time.